"It is a leap year, as I said. Leap year began in the year 45 B.C. under Julius Ceasar. This is true. He started the leap year in order to correct the calendar and we still do it to this day. Another thing that happened under Julius Ceasar was, uh, he was such a powerful maniac that all the senators grabbed knives and they stabbed him to death. That would be an interesting thing if we brought that back."
2029? Thats not a real year. By 2029, Ill be drinking moon juice with — John Mulaney
"2029? Thats not a real year. By 2029, Ill be drinking moon juice with President Jonathan Taylor Thomas."
John Edmund Mulaney is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, Mulaney first rose to prominence for his work as a writer for the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live from 2008 to 2013, where he contributed to numerous sketches and characters, including Stefon, a recurring character whom he and Bill Hader co-created. Since his depart
John Edmund Mulaney is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, Mulaney first rose to prominence for his work as a writer for the NBC sketch comedy series Saturday Night Live from 2008 to 2013, where he contributed to numerous sketches and characters, including Stefon, a recurring character whom he and Bill Hader co-created. Since his depart
View all quotes by John MulaneyMore by John Mulaney
View all →"I was a cool person at one time. I used to do cocaine."
"I dislike the Founding Fathers immensely."
"Your dad has no friends. If you think your dad has friends, youre wrong. Your mom has friends, and they have husbands. Those are not your dads friends."
"Im not saying its a bad movie. It is, but thats not my point."
"I was working with these kids ages 8-13, and I thought, oh, I remember being that age, and that is the state I would like to be in. Because they were very kind, they were very thoughtful, and they also knew that they had no control over their lives at all."