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"You are a sick freak who should be beaten."
Daniel ToshI came up with my own expression. I like to "make it hail". Yeah. That — Daniel Tosh
"I came up with my own expression. I like to "make it hail". Yeah. Thats when you throw change on sluts. [Mimes throwing change] "Ow! Were those nickels?" Yeah, its a down economy, Im a baller on a budget, bitch!"
Daniel Tosh
Daniel Tosh
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Daniel Dwight Tosh is an American comedian, writer, and producer. After graduating from the University of Central Florida with a degree in marketing, Tosh moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in comedy. His career accelerated in 2001 after a performance on the Late Show with David Letterman. He went on to appear in other national shows, leading to his own 30-minute special on Comedy Central Pre
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"Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street. Id be like, "Hey, so I guess Ill see you later," and hes like, "Whatever, queer."
Daniel ToshQuote
"I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, Im gonna be pissed."
Daniel ToshQuote
"Sometimes, when Im feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, "Hey, at least Im not pregnant."
Daniel ToshQuote
"Im all for women who get plastic surgery, because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance — fake... We have shows like Extreme Make-Over. "I dont want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now Im happy, or at least I look like it."
Daniel ToshQuote
"Im actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having another man around the house..."
Daniel Tosh