Listen, this is crazy. I look like Im 75 years old. Nobody wants to wa — Larry David

"Pretty...pretty...pretty......pretty.....pretty good. (Curb Your Enthusiasm, passim)"

"I like how if you criticize the war you dont support the troops. Youre the ones sending them over to die, so how is it I don’t support them? If the army was made up of child molesters, then Id support them. If we went to an all child molester army, I would be their biggest supporter. "Please dont bring the troops home. Stay the course. Keep them there a long time." But theyre not child molesters. And theyre not the Twins, that’s for sure. Where are the Twins? Send in the Twins. Id like to hear that scene. "Jenna, Barbara... Daddy and I have talked it over and we want you to go fight in Iraq." …Ah, whats the use?"

"If every student was like me in college, wed still be in Vietnam."

"One thing about Hitler that I admire is that he wouldnt take any shit from magicians." (Larry David: Curb Your Enthusiasm, HBO special)"

"Let me tell you something; I do hate myself, but it has nothing to do with being Jewish. (When accused of being a self-loathing Jew; Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 2, Episode 3, "Trick or Treat")"

"(on not going to his high school prom) I wasnt aware of the prom. I had no idea that it was even going on, not that I would have gone. Its not the kind of thing that would ever occur to me. You would think I would have heard about it in school, but I didnt. (Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Book)"