Look what I found; a litter version of the Internet! This used to be s — Ze Frank

"Its complimacated. (sounds like compli-ma-kayted, emphasis on first syllable)"

"(On airplane etiquette) Although reclining your seat is technically your right, just like free speech if you exercise it to your limits everyone around you will think youre an asshole."

"When I get sick I start scripting the video tape that Im gonna leave behind when I die. Sometimes imagining that even makes me cry. Both hurting and happiness make me feel more alive, but as I get older it seems that hurtings the low hanging fruit. So I pick it. ."

"Im not sure, but I think I might be an adult.... Someone the other day told me I should act more like one, but I dont even know what it is. Whats an adult? I blame it on my parents; they caught it before I was even born. When I break things now I have to pay for them. I rarely get cake at parties anymore. When people give me sheets of paper Im not supposed to draw on em. Im just supposed to put the letters of my name on a line. Wheres the fun in that? People get funny when I say the obvious, like "youve got a big nose." All of a sudden Im supposed to know about the weather. And have plans! I even checked on the internet and no ones working on a cure. Im not sure I like it."

"[T]errorists are desperate assholes who see no institutionalized recourse to address their grievances, so they resort to random acts of violence in order to instill fear into the general population."

"This is Ze Frank, thinking so you dont have to. (Standard sign-off for "The Show"; varies at times)."