"Really, why am I doing this anymore? It makes me crazy. I hate getting up early in the morning, and I dont particularly like doing the show."
Howard Allan Stern is an American broadcaster, comedian, and media personality. He is best known for The Howard Stern Show, which rose to prominence through national syndication on terrestrial radio from 1986 to 2005; he has broadcast on SiriusXM since 2006.
"Whenever I say something, I say it right at the moment Im thinking it. As soon as I saw Magic Johnsons press conference, I said, "Hey, this is bullshit. Why are you idolizing a guy who runs around and is a tremendous womanizer? Hes running around having unprotected sex in a day and age when he should know better. I dont think you should treat him as a hero."
"Jay [Leno] is insane. Hes not fit to scrub David Lettermans feet. Yes, I dont know why hes beaten David Letterman in the ratings. Its beyond my comprehension. America must be filled with morons who at night lay in bed -- the ones who are watching him. They must be in a coma."
"Whats wrong with being naked? I dont think theres anything wrong with that. I pay my taxes. Im a good man. Im a good father - try to be, anyway. I try to do the right things in life."
"And if you really want to tame that region (Iraq), Ill tell you what can solve the problem: pussy. Plain and simple. Give em strip clubs and whores. Nobody would want to fly a fucking plane into anything. Nobody would want to kill anybody. The problem is, these guys cant even see a womans ankle. You know what? They just want pussy. They want good porno. They want to beat off. They want Howard Stern."
"I think its my identity. Like, this is who I am. This is what I do.... Like Im Babe Ruth, you know?"
"I cut my pubes last night. My hairs were getting longer than my penis."