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"I like my women like I like my coffee... covered in beeees!"
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Eddie IzzardWe stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the — Eddie Izzard
"We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" Theyre going, "You cant claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag…? "What? We dont need a bloody flag. This is our country, you bastards!" "No flag, no country, you cant have one! Those are the rules ... that I just made up! And Im backing it up with this gun that was lent from the National Rifle Association."
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Eddie Izzard
Eddie Izzard
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Suzy Eddie Izzard is a British stand-up comedian, actor and activist. Her comedic style takes the form of what appears to the audience as rambling whimsical monologues.
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"I have played one transgender character. I will play hopefully more transgender roles in the future, but there are a lot of boy genetics in me so I am happy to play boy roles. It would be great if more transgender actors can play more transgender characters."
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Eddie IzzardQuote
"And cats leap up walls! Six foot walls, they just go … *fwang* [mimes cat jumping] Lands perfectly, and turn … turn … and back flip and forward flip, and dismount! They always land perfectly, they never do that sort of wobbly-gymnast … [mimes wobbling] You never see cats on a wall having a problem, do you? You never see a cat going, [mimes tentative walk] "Fucking ell! Im not sure about this …" and a cat on the ground, going, "Easy, Ginger! Ill walk you down!"
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Eddie IzzardQuote
"Beekeepers, yes … theyve gotta want to be – "I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Dont wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps." And their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] "Im covered in bees!"
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Eddie IzzardQuote
"So, I thought, its not working. So I threw my breasts out of the window of my Lamborghini, in my mind … no, I threw the breasts out of the window of my Ford Fiesta, in my mind. Actually, I threw them out over the handlebars of my bicycle [mouthing the words] in my mind. And they hit a small child, who ran, "Mum, mum, mum … Ive been attacked by … jellyfish!"
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Eddie IzzardQuote
"If youve never seen an elephant ski, then youve never been on acid."
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Eddie Izzard