Jonathan Swift

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no …

Not die here in a rage, like a poisoned rat in a hole.

This evil fortune, which generally attends extraordinary men in the management of great affairs, has been imputed to divers causes, that need not be here set down, when so obvious a one occurs, if what a certain writer observes be true, …

Those dreams that on the silent night intrude, And with false flitting shapes our minds delude … are mere productions of the brain. And fools consult interpreters in vain.

For conversation well endued; She calls it witty to be rude; And, placing raillery in railing, Will tell aloud your greatest failing.

A set of phrases learnt by rote; A passion for a scarlet coat; When at a play to laugh, or cry, Yet cannot tell the reason why: Never to hold her tongue a minute; While all she prates has nothing in it.

Libertas et natale solum: Fine words! I wonder where you stole 'em.

For, in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery: but in fact, eleven men well armed will certainly subdue one single man in his shirt.

So weak thou art, that fools thy power despise; And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.

If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.

Reasoning will never make a man correct an ill opinion, which by reasoning he never acquired

Proper words in proper places, make the true definition of a style.

'Tis an old maxim in the schools, That flattery's the food of fools; Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.

But nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches, as to conceive how others can be in want.

It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffeehouse, for the voice of the kingdom.

I love good creditable acquaintance; I love to be the worst of the company.

We are so fond of one another, because our ailments are the same.

Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jest is over, and the tale hath had its effect: like a man, who hath thought of a good repartee when the discourse is changed, …

'Tis very warm weather when one's in bed.

surely one of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish we had rather left unsaid

There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake, though all the World sees them to be in downright nonsense.

Instead of dirt and poison we have rather chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax; thus furnishing mankind with the two noblest of things, which are sweetness and light.

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.