Laurence Sterne

That grave people hate love for the name’s sake;—That selfish people hate it for their own;—Hypocrites for heaven’s;—

When the heart flies out before the understanding, it saves the judgment a world of pains.

When a man is discontented with himself, it has one advantage however, that it puts him into an excellent frame of mind for making a bargain.

I was at peace with the world before, and this finish’d the treaty with myself.

They order, said I, this matter better in France.

L—d! said my mother, what is all this story about? — A Cock and a Bull, said Yorick — And one of the best of its kind I ever heard.

I believe in my conscience I intercept many a thought which heaven intended for another man.

Ho! 'tis the time of salads.

I am sick as a horse.

A man should know something of his own country too, before he goes abroad.

The Accusing Spirit which flew up to heaven's chancery with the oath, blush'd as he gave it in; and the Recording Angel as he wrote it down, dropp'd a tear upon the word, and blotted it out forever.

I am convinced, Yorick, continued my father, half reading and half discoursing, that there is a Northwest Passage to the intellectual world; and that the soul of man has shorter ways of going to work, in furnishing itself with knowledge …

Shall we be destined to the days of eternity, on holy-days, as well as working-days, to be showing the relics of learning, as monks do the relics of their saints — without working one — one single miracle with them?

Now or never was the time.

I have got him fast hung up, quoth Didius to himself, upon one of the two horns of my dilemma — let him get off as he can.

Of all the cants which are canted in this canting world, — though the cant of hypocrites may be the worst, — the cant of criticism is the most tormenting!

Our armies swore terribly in Flanders, cried my uncle Toby, — but nothing to this. — For my own part, I could not have a heart to curse my dog so.

Trust that man in nothing who has not a conscience in everything.

Go poor Devil, get thee gone, why should I hurt thee? — This world surely is wide enough to hold both thee and me.

Writing, when properly managed, (as you may be sure I think mine is) is but a different name for conversation.

The desire of knowledge, like the thirst of riches, increases ever with the acquisition of it.

The history of a soldier's wound beguiles the pain of it.

Digressions, incontestably, are the sunshine; —& they are the life, the soul of reading; — take them out of this book for instance, — you might as well take the book along with them.

Persuasion hung upon his lips, and the elements of Logick and Rhetorick were so blended up in him, — and, withall, he had so shrewd guess at the weaknesses and passions of his respondent, — that NATURE might have stood up and said, — "This …