Stephen Leacock

My parents migrated to Canada in 1876, and I decided to go with them.

A barber is by nature and inclination a sport. He can tell you at what exact hour the ball game is to begin, can foretell its issue without losing a stroke of the razor, and can explain the points of inferiority of all the players, as …

You frequently ask, where are the friends of your childhood, and urge that they shall be brought back to you. As far as I am able to learn, those of your friends who are not in jail are still right there in your native village. You point …

You know, many a man realizes late in life that if when he was a boy he had known what he knows now, instead of being what he is he might be what he won't; but how few boys stop to think that if they knew what they don't know instead of …

The rushing of his spirit from its prison-house was as rapid as a hunted cat passing over a garden fence.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

Lord Ronald said nothing; he flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.