Dennis Christopher - Leonide Moguy — Django Unchained

"Kerry Washington - Brunhilde von Shaft"

"Gentlemen, you had my curiosity. But now you have my attention."

"[Showing Django and Schultz a human skull] This is Ben. Hes an old joe that lived around here for a long time, and I do mean a long damn time. Old Ben here took care of my daddy and my daddys daddy. Till he up and keeled over one day, old Ben took care of me. Growin up the son of a huge plantation owner in Mississippi puts a white man in contact with a whole lotta black faces. I spent my whole life here, right here in Candyland, surrounded by black faces. Now seein em every day, day in and day out, I only had one question: why dont they kill us? Now right out there on that porch, three times a week for fifty years, old Ben here would shave my daddy with a straight razor. Now, if I was old Ben, I woulda cut my daddys goddamn throat, an it wouldnt-a taken me no fifty years of doin neither. But he never did. Why not? See, the science of phrenology is crucial to understandin the separation of our two species. [Picking up a hacksaw] And the skull of the African here? The area associated with submissiveness is larger than any human or any other sub-human species on planet Earth. [Saws a piece off the back of the skull, brushes it off, and holds it up] If you examine this piece of skull here youll notice three distinct dimples. Here, here and here. Now, if I was holdin the skull of an Issac Newton or a Galileo, these three dimples would be found in the area of the skull most associated with creativity. But this is the skull of old Ben. And in the skull of old Ben, unburdened by genius, these three dimples exist in the area of the skull most associated with servility. [To Django] Now bright boy, I will admit you are pretty clever. But if I took this hammer here, and I bashed in your skull with it, you would have the same three dimples in the same place as old Ben."

"[To Django] Your black ass been all them motherfuckers at the big house could talk about for the last few hours. Seem like white folk aint never had a bright idea in they life is comin up with all kinds of ways to kill your ass. Now mind you, most of them ideas had to do with fuckin with your fun parts. Now that may seem like a good idea, but truth is when you snip a niggas nuts most of em bleed out in oh, about seven minutes. Most of em. Well, more than most. Then I says, "Shitfire, the niggers we sells to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" And they still saying, "Lets whip him to death!" or "Throw him to the mandingos! Feed him to Stonesiphers dogs!" I said "Whats so special about that? We do that shit all the time. Hells bells, the niggers we sells to LeQuint Dickey got it worse than that!" Lo and behold! Out of nowhere, Miss Lara come up with the bright idea of givin your ass to the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company. And as a slave of the LeQuint Dickey Mining Company, henceforth till the day you die, all day, every day, you will be swingin a sledgehammer, turnin big rocks into little rocks. Now when you get there, they gonna take away your name, giya a number and a sledgehammer and say, "Get to work!" One word of sass, they cuts out your tongue. They good at it too. You wont bleed out. Oh, they does that real good! They gonna work yout, all day, every day, till your back give out. Then they gonna hitcha in the head with a hammer, and throw your ass down the nigga hole, and that will be the story of you, Django!"

"Django and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?"

"Django... Django... Django... You got sand, Django. Boys got sand! I got no use for a nigger with sand. I want you to burn a runaway "R" right his cheek, and the girl, too. I want you to take them to the Greenville auction and sell em. Both of em… separately. And this one… you will sell him cheap."