Harvey Korman - Monty Rushmore — Americathon

"Western White House Tour Guide: All right, people. Lets move it! Please, maam. No spitting in the hallway!"

"The ultimate spectacle is now a movie."

"[in a press conference] God knows I am a patriot. I loaned the country 400 Billion. And I want my 400 Million back. Does that make me a bad guy? Ive got to eat too, you know! So Im giving the President until the end of September this year to pay me back, or Ill be forced to foreclose. What can I do? Ive got to eat too, you know! Does that make me a bad guy?"

"President Roosevelt was a successful graduate of EST, Scientology, TM and Primal Grope Therapy. And he was elected on a platform unique in American political history: "Im not a schmuck!" Even though that was Chets only campaign promise, it looked like it would be a tough one to keep."

"Everyone all across the country was watching the telethon. From what was left of New York, to the first all-gay state, North Dakota. All eyes were glued to their sets... [shot of men at stand-up urinals watching television] ...which in some cases, ruined a lot of good shoes."

"Mouling Jackson: [singing] Dont you ever say "No" to me / Listen, Im a lady. Period. / Classy, too. / Wont you come over here / And Ill prove it to you / And then if you still dont think / I got style and grace / Im going to oh, so gracefully / rip the lips off of your face!"