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He opened another beer, and I warmed some canned chili on the stove. P — Scott Bradfield

"He opened another beer, and I warmed some canned chili on the stove. Pedro ate most of it, sponging up the red chili sauce with slices of his doughy Wonderbread. "This is a hard fast world we live in, kiddo—and Im telling you this as a friend, now. All this teary-eyed feeling sorry for yourself childhood crap just doesnt work—doesnt work for long, anyway. I can promise you that. I mean, your mom wants you to have this idyllic childhood and all. She thinks this is Camelot or something, your childhood. Well, I want you to know, kiddo. I looked up idyllic in the dictionary and I wouldnt hold my breath. I wouldnt lie in bed all day just waiting for some idyllic childhood to come along."
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Scott Bradfield
Scott Bradfield
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Scott Michael Bradfield is an American essayist, critic and fiction writer who resides in London, England. He has taught at the University of California, the University of Connecticut and Kingston University and has reviewed for The Times Literary Supplement, Elle, The Observer, Vice and The Independent. He is best known, however, for his short stories, of which he has had four collections publish

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"You know what Christmas means? It means if I love you, Im going to buy you a whole load of crap. The more I love you, the bigger the load gets. Sometimes, if you can afford it, you can get your loved one literally tons of crap, and then theyre really loved. Love, love, love. Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas. Buy some more crap. Come on, line up and buy yourselves a whole lot more crap. Heres something nice. Bought any crap quite like this crap recently? Crap crap crap. Ho ho ho. Like that mechanical Santa Claus in the Montgomery Wards window display. Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas, everybody. Have yourselves all one fucking hell of a merry little Christmas, all you poor stupid saps. Line up and get taken, thats what I say, thats what Santa says. We take MasterCard cards and Visa cards. Come on, losers. Line up on this side. Get your money taken on that side."
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Scott Bradfield