Human problems are complex. If something isnt complex it doesnt qualif — P. J. O'Rourke

"The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it."

"A good bachelor drinks his dessert (and sometimes the rest of his meals). A sweet tooth is a danger signal that youre getting too much exercise and not enough cocktails."

"Man developed in Africa. He has not continued to do so there."

"Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do."

"I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I dont let it bother me. I dont let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal."

"One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, its remarkable how often his picture turns up on your drivers license."