"I wake up feeling invincible. I dont check the time because I dont want anything to shatter my survivor spirit. In my head, Im already in another day. I have beat Death-Casts prediction, the first person in history to do so. I put my glasses back on, kiss Rufus forehead, and watch him resting. Nervous, I reach for his heart, and Im relieved it is still beating: hes invincible too. I climb over Rufus and I bet he would kill me himself if he caught me leaving our safe island, but I want to introduce him to Dad. I leave the room and go to the kitchen to prepare tea for us. I set the pot over the stoves burner and check the cabinets for tea selections and decide on peppermint. When I switch on the burner, my chest sinks with regret. Even when you know death is coming, the blaze of it all is still sudden."
Adam Silvera is an American author of young adult fiction. His work frequently centers on queer characters and explores themes of identity, grief, and mortality. He is known for the bestselling novels More Happy Than Not (2015), History Is All You Left Me (2017), and They Both Die at the End (2017), which gained renewed public interest in 2020 through Tiktok's BookTok sub-community.
"The Death-Cast universe is my favorite universe that Ive created. It was born out of my fear of unexpected death and has ultimately changed my perspective on life. I make bolder choices in my life, almost like I have nohing to lose, but I could definitely take more risks. One of the worst parts about creating this universe, though, is that I spend so much time in it, and its not real! I truly wish Death-Cast existed, and I often have to remind myself that it doesnt."
"I don’t ever see any character as 100 percent good or 100 percent evil…"
"Some people like ‘happily ever after,’ but I don’t think that’s me. I’m always writing from some difficult place and seeing how the character survives … or doesn’t. When I really want to be comforted myself what I look for is a story about how somebody could survive something really difficult. There are happy stories out there but I think some of them may raise false expectations for teens…"
"All stories that are centring queer kids and their experiences are all valid whether it’s dealing with the trials of having parents who aren’t as welcoming about it or parents who are totally chill about it, which is obviously the hope for all teenagers. I think there are some things that could be said too, especially culturally, like there’s a lot of stigma in the Puerto Rican community that fathers especially are so hyper masculine that they will always be uncomfortable with their children being gay…"
"Its storming outside right now. I stare out the window. I cant tell you if it rained yesterday or even what day it is. It always feels like Im waking up, minute after minute, like Im in my own little time zone. But as I trace my smiling scar- unable to do so without remembering the time Thomas poked two eyes onto my wrist with dirt- I still have hope in what Evangeline and Leteo hope for, too. And while I wait, happiness exists where I can get it. In these notebooks, where worlds of memories greet me, almost like a childhood friend who moved away for years and finally came back home. Im more happy than not. Dont forget me."
"I succeeded in making you care. If you feel nothing, I failed you as a storyteller. I love happy endings, but some readers need the darker stories, too. The stories that don’t make them feel disturbed by their own reality because it doesn’t reflect what they’re used to seeing in fiction. There’s some comfort in harsher stories, and witnessing how one character rebuilds after tragedy can provide hope for the reader."