If Id have known how much was won, Id never have started in the first — Waking Ned

"And dont take it personally, Finn, but I bought you some expensive, fruity soaps. Take them home, try them out."

"As we look back on the life of... (Lottery man enters funeral parlor)... Michael OSullivan was my great friend, but I dont ever remember telling him that. The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said. Maybe to say a few things yourself. Michael and I grew old together. But at times, when we laughed, we grew younger. If he was here now, if he could hear what I say, Id congratulate him on being a great man, and thank him for being a friend."

"finding Ned Divines body, dead, holding the winning lottery ticket. Dear God. Youll be cursing in heaven tonight, Ned Devine."

"Im not a great man for telling things the way they are. I mean, Ive been known to add a little color to stories and riddles for the benefit of those who will listen. Yet here tonight I can swear that all Ive told you is true. The money will be claimed and divided equally between the fifty two of us. Now it was wrong, to think I could claim the money meself. Thats not what Ned wants. He wants us to share the winnings. A nest egg for us all. So now if the lotto man comes to the village, you say that Ned Devine is alive and well, and you point your finger to Michael OSullivan."