If you cant be direct, why be? — Lily Tomlin

"All my life, Ive always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific."

"What if its boring... or if its not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring."

"Theres so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic."

"Listen, I have no judgment about anything. Some people will bring certain celebrities up to me who are presumably — or known to be — gay and ask "Why dont they come out?" But we dont know why they dont, and its none of our business, really. In 75 I was making the Modern Scream album, and Jane and I were in the studio. My publicist called me and said "Time will give you the cover if youll come out." I was more offended than anything that they thought wed make a deal. But that was 75 — it would have been a hard thing to do at that time."

"Its a more ridiculing, divisive humor today, especially with the advent of political incorrectness, which is a license to be as ridiculing and awful about certain groups... There should be room for everybody, absolutely, and then the culture is going to decide the prevailing weight. We cant decide it individually. Nobody is here without a reason. … I always had a different sensibility. I like a huge range of comedy — from broad and farcical, the most sensitive, the most understated — but I always wanted my comedy to be more embracing of the species rather than debasing of it."

"Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination."