"Im so physically deficient that the act of sleep injures me. Its like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once."
Brian Clevinger is an American writer best known as the author of the webcomic 8-Bit Theater and the Eisner-nominated print comic Atomic Robo. He is also the author of the self-published novel Nuklear Age.
"Dammit, Skittles bag. How can you call yourself a rainbow of flavors when youre all green? They do this to oppress us, you know. He who controls the Skittle, controls the means of production. They know no one needs that many greens. Even if you like green, you cant like it that much. One day, Skittles, one day soon, there will be a reckoning. To each according to his ability, to each according to his red flavor need."
"If you travel, do it smart. I need as many of you alive to buy as many things as possible. Its a cycle, you see, shaped like a pyramid."
"It occurs to me that I really need a picture of Patrick Stewart as Captain Picard driving Optimus Prime through space. I would follow either of them into the gates of hell without question or hesitation."
"Anyone got a few million they wanna invest?"
"Do you know what I need? A hammer built out of a starship. It just seems practical. Something like that would have dozens of uses around the home. All of them needlessly apocolyptic, probably, but when youve got a doom hammer, every problem is meaningless once the interstellar dust settles."
"I have, quite possibly, the most self-antagonistic brain of our generation. So when I really want to work on something, it goes into overdrive to think of other things that are really bitchin to distract me. And if I change gears to work on that new shiny thing, itll think of something even more bitchin for the original thing or a wholly new project altogether. Its a wonder I manage to dress myself, really."