Im sure its not wizardly to be alone in a ladys boudoir. — Mort

"He doesnt like wizards and witches much," Mort volunteered."

"The worlds greatest lovers were undoubtedly Mellius and Gretelina, whose pure, passionate and soul-searing affair would have scorched the pages of History if they had not, because of some unexplained quirk of fate, been born two hundred years apart on different continents. However, the gods took pity on them, and turned her into an ironing board, and him into a small brass bollard."

"Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote."

"You wont get away with this," said Cutwell. He thought for a bit and added, "Well, you will probably get away with it, but youll feel bad about it on your deathbed and youll wish—" He stopped talking."

"Although the scythe isnt preeminent among the weapons of war, anyone who has been on the wrong end of, say, a peasants revolt will know that in skilled hands it is fearsome. Once its owner gets it weaving and spinning no one—including the wielder—is quite certain where the blade is now and where it will be next."

"History has a habit of changing the people who think they are changing it. History always has a few tricks up its frayed sleeve. Its been around a long time."