"Ive learned not to ask for everything, just to make sure that I get what I must have. It doesnt matter who else gets what-- it only matters if youre deprived. Really splendid men understand that and find ways to manage their lives to they never give away anything that is their wifes. And if there are times when they need more than one woman in their life, they give back what they get to both. Being faithful means not costing people you love more than they can afford to pay. The best men are committed to their partners as much as to themselves."
Merle Shain (1935–1989) was a Canadian author and journalist.
"The best men are those who put their cards on the table when something is bothering them, and if possible do it quietly, not blaming anyone, and if theyre faced with a hysterical partner, who is not herself, identify with what she feels even when they cant make head or tail out of what she says."
"You can, after all, produce an orgasm yourself if thats what you want, so we must go to bed for something more."
"But women often find their husbands dont love them for the things they value in themselves, and part of the charm of an affair is you can give what you want, and need only give if you choose."
"It is not possible for one person to meet all of anothers needs and marriage partners who expect this soon find each other wanting."
"Marriages should be as diverse as the people in them are, which means that some will be one of a kind, and some totally different still. And those who dont want to love, honor and obey, should be able to promise each other anything they choose, without having to ask anyone what they think of that, particularly themselves."
"Loving someone means helping them to be more themselves, which can be different from being what youd like them to be, although often they turn out the same."