Like basic distrust, manipulation as a style of relating is a deeply r — Herb Goldberg

"A divorced man talked about his experiences with women:Everybody is looking for a winner. Theyre impressed by position and status even if theyre not being treated well. They evaluate a man by such things as his dress and his home.If you start saying you want freedom and space, they cant handle it. You can just tell that they wouldnt be there if you didnt have money. … Its really easy to get laid. Just go to a nice place dressed nice—everyones looking for a well-off guy.Society preaches that you must be this or you must be that. Success has nothing to do with human qualities. I found that it was empty. I couldnt feel a damn thing emotionally. I was numb. Everything was in order, but nothing—no tears, no real happiness, no real sadness either. When you cant find anything to be sad about, thats really sad! Im getting so I dont want to do anything. Im emotionally upset by humanity. Not that Im an angel, but its discouraging to see that theres only one place you can go. Everyday I almost feel like vomiting.Ive always had people crash on me, but Ive never been able to crash on them. It scares the hell out of me. Theres no one who cares enough. The only reason Im here is to keep the whole damn thing up. I wonder why I cant sink. Its scary."

"The growing singles world gives us another vantage point from which to see how sexual desire and excitement are a matter of distance elements. A couple goes to bed, perhaps on the first or second date, with seemingly great sexual appetite and desire for each other. The sex was "great," but the man, who believed he really wanted "great sex," never comes back for more; or the woman, who seemed to have been so "turned on" and sexually responsive, is not interested in a repeat performance.There is an often expressed "singles lament": "The ones Im really turned on to dont seem to want me; while the people who want me, I cant get excited over." Then, finally, the disturbing conclusion: "The good ones are all taken, only the undesirable or sick ones are left.""

"For most men involved with a woman who is throwing off the traditional feminine harnesses and restrictions, her liberation has meant nothing more than greater involvement with household chores, child care, and support for the woman in her new career and academic aspirations. In other words, it has only added to his pressures, responsibilities and burdens, and stretched him thinner, without providing any obvious benefits in terms of greater freedom, mobility, expressiveness, security and satisfaction, feminist rhetoric notwithstanding. What feminists describe as beneficial to the man in these changes is an ideal—a potential rather than the reality of his daily existence."

"Perhaps the single most valuable contribution of feminism has been the way it has chipped away at mens fantasies about women. Today it is the destructive woman, consciously or unconsciously intent on controlling, manipulating and exploiting men, who feeds on his regressive, pathetic desire to see himself as the dominant superman. … This hostile attitude was well expressed by one woman who responded with the following comment to a survey on attitudes and experiences regarding the roles of men and women in our society. She wrote:"[If men learn that women are superior] well be stuck with a lot of sniveling little boys clinging to our skirts. Its better to let them think theyre king of the castle, lean and depend on them, and continue to control and manipulate them as we always have."A man is in jeopardy if he fails to realize that the "fragile," "passive" women of today is not "feminine" but repressed, and may well emerge as the angry woman of tomorrow who will turn the tables on him at a time when he may hardly be prepared or equipped to adapt to the changes. Such is the price of refusing to recognize what is."

"When they talk of the world outside themselves, their different visions of the world become obvious. He sees the world as a chaotic place, because he views it from the vantage point of self-protective needs for control, separateness, and power. She sees the "dawn of a new age," a world heading toward universal love, spirituality, and peace—free of barriers and boundaries and filled with people who care for each other."

"It is my interpretation that on the deepest archetypal level the feminist movement is partially fueled by an intuitive sensing of the decay and demise of the male. Women are rushing in to take mens places, as much for survivals sake as for any sociological or philosophical reasons. He has become a hyperactive, hyper-cerebral, hyper-mechanical, rigid, self-destructive machine out of control."