Linda Hamilton — Ellen Jane Burrows/Robertson — Mr. Destiny

"Why is it every time your best friends kissing you on the head, a beautiful woman comes along and catches you?"

"Destinys a pretty big concept, when you think about it. Where you are in life, how you got there, what would have happened if one thing or another had been different. To be honest, I never gave it much thought, myself, until today, June 14th, my 35th birthday, and without a doubt, the strangest day of my life. Do you remember the old story that starts, "This guy goes into a bar"? Well, Im the guy, and heres the story."

"How well do you remember 1970?"

"Jon Lovitz — Clip Metzler, Larrys Best Friend"

"Maybe it was because it was my birthday. Maybe it was seeing Cindy Jo. I dont know. But all morning Id been thinking about what it would have been like if my life had turned out differently."

"Why is it every time you have a mouthful of freeze-dried coffee, your boss walks in on you?"