So I guess the first thing I would say is: you need to write a story t — John Green

"I may not have facts on my side, Hank, but I still think Im right. Thats the American way."

"Never go to war with a noun. You will always lose."

"I mean Hank, the movie was great, but the thirty minutes before the movie started was what I love about being a nerd. Because nerds like us are allowed to be unironically enthusiastic about stuff. We dont have to be like, Oh yeah that purse is okay or like, Yeah, I like that bands early stuff. Nerds are allowed to love stuff, like jump-up-and-down-in-the-chair-cant-control-yourself-love it. Hank, when people call people nerds, mostly what they are saying is, You like stuff, which is just not a good insult at all, like You are too enthusiastic about the miracle of human consciousness."

"Good morning Hank. I know what youre thinking. Youre thinking: My older brother really needs a haircut! Well, Hank, Ive got one thing to say to that. Never!"

"Now, Hank, obviously you and I are living proof that sometimes a nerd meets another nerd and they fall in nerd-love."

"Saying I notice youre a nerd is like saying, Hey, I notice that youd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that youd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that? In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even lame is kind of lame. Saying Youre lame is like saying You walk with a limp. Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and hes done all right for himself."