So, I thought, its not working. So I threw my breasts out of the windo — Eddie Izzard

"I like my women like I like my coffee... covered in beeees!"

"I have played one transgender character. I will play hopefully more transgender roles in the future, but there are a lot of boy genetics in me so I am happy to play boy roles. It would be great if more transgender actors can play more transgender characters."

"And cats leap up walls! Six foot walls, they just go … *fwang* [mimes cat jumping] Lands perfectly, and turn … turn … and back flip and forward flip, and dismount! They always land perfectly, they never do that sort of wobbly-gymnast … [mimes wobbling] You never see cats on a wall having a problem, do you? You never see a cat going, [mimes tentative walk] "Fucking ell! Im not sure about this …" and a cat on the ground, going, "Easy, Ginger! Ill walk you down!"

"Beekeepers, yes … theyve gotta want to be – "I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Dont wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps." And their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] "Im covered in bees!"

"Theres 200,000 gods in Hinduism … and theyve got gods like Shiva, the God of Creation and Destruction. Which is a good god to be, cause you can go *whoom* [creates thing] "What do you think? Do you like that? You dont like that?" *whoom* [destroys thing] If youre just the God of Creation, youre going *whoom* "Do you like that? You dont? All right, Ill put it in the garage … shit, I havent got a garage!" *whoom* [creates garage]"

"If youve never seen an elephant ski, then youve never been on acid."

"The absolute requisites for the study of this work... are a knowledge of algebra to the binomial at least, plane and solid geometry, plane trigonometry, and the most simple part of the usual applications of algebra to geometry. ...A. De Morgan. London July 1, 1836"

"Captain Littlepage had overset his mind with too much reading."

"What say you? It is useless? Ay, I know But who fights ever hoping for success? I fought for lost cause, and for fruitless quest! You there, who are you! — You are thousands! Ah! I know you now, old enemies of mine! Falsehood! Have at you! Ha! and Compromise! Prejudice, Treachery! … Surrender, I? Parley? No, never! You too, Folly, — you? I know that you will lay me low at last; Let be! Yet I fall fighting, fighting still!"

"Ive been taking a closer look at these graduates. They are actually taller, stronger, smarter than we were, smart enough maybe to take our mistakes as their messages, to make our weaknesses their lessons, and to make our example — good and not so good — part of their education."

"In short, it is not merely that Johnny cant read, or even that Johnny cant think. Johnny doesnt know what thinking is, because thinking is so often confused with feeling in many public schools. [emphasis in the original]"

"Bigotry is the disease of ignorance, of morbid minds; enthusiasm of the free and buoyant. Education & free discussion are the antidotes of both."