This week, my administration released new information that contains th — Joe Biden

"[T]heres only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb, and 9/11."

"@POTUS the majority of the American people are not with you on this one. #CeasefireNow"

"Listen to me, boss," Biden told Obama, according to Obamas recent memoir recounting their conversations. "Maybe Ive been around this town for too long, but one thing I know is when these generals are trying to box in a new president." According to the former Presidents account, Biden brought his face a few inches from Obamas and stage-whispered: "Dont let them jam you."

"While this bill doesn’t do everything I want, it does include actions I’ve long called for that are going to save lives. It funds crisis intervention, including red-flag laws. It keeps guns out of the hands of people who are a danger to themselves and to others. And it finally closes what is known as the “boyfriend loophole.” So if you assault your boyfriend or girlfriend, you can’t buy a gun or own a gun. It requires young people ages 18 to 21 to undergo enhanced background checks. It includes the first-ever federal law that makes gun trafficking and straw purchases distinct federal crimes for the first time. It clarifies who needs to register as a federally licensed gun dealer, and run background checks before selling a single weapon. You know, this is — also provides historic funding to address the youth mental health crisis in this country, especially — especially the trauma experienced by the survivors of this gun violence."

"Israel will not get everything it asks for... I firmly believe that the actions that Israels government has taken over the past several years — the steady and systematic expansion of settlements, the legalization of outposts, land seizures — theyre moving us, and, more importantly, theyre moving Israel in the wrong direction"

"Hell, I might be president now if it werent for the fact I said I had an uncle who was a coal miner. Turns out I didnt have anybody in the coal mines, you know what I mean? I tried that crap — it didnt work."