What Im thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers. — The Wedding Planner

"I had to go through your wallet to get your identification. And you know what I must say, Ive ever met anyone who alphabetized her credit cards before."

"What if what I think is great, really is great... but its not as great, as something greater?"

"Oh, of course. Krazy Glue. Why didnt I bring the Krazy Glue, in case his pecker fell off?"

"Geri: Pierre, I love you, but if you use another carnation in my bouquet I will deport you. Muah."

"Bert: Girl asks you to dance, you dance."

"You are exquisite. Youre timeless. And you have the love of a man named Steve. A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me: I cant believe she picked me. I cant believe Im marrying the most incredible woman Ive ever met. So that tells me that this marriage of yours is not only gonna work, its gonna last forever."