You have to work five or six years in the theatre—in hit shows—to make — Walter Slezak

"My biggest dream in life is the one about catching a tram in my underwear and then Helen Mirren gets on and blows up a balloon in the shape of Walter Slezak. I’m most grateful for any attention I get."

"Biographies usually begin with the smack on the bottom and the first lusty cry of the subject. I deplore this literary custom, because it is impossible to remember anything about ones birth firsthand. It is bound to be hearsay, and embellished, gilded hearsay at that."

"I never lie unless it is absolutely necessary. Or convenient."

"Spending money you dont have for things you dont need to impress people you dont like."

"Until I was about 12 or 13, it was just, “Oh sure, okay, fine.” Then when I was about 14, my father asked, “Are you serious about this? Do you really want to be an actor?” I said, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.” So, he took me in his little office, sat me down for about an hour and told me everything bad about this business. He said, “You have to be prepared for all the awful things that happen to actors, the rejection, humiliation, and embarrassment and receiving bad reviews if you do get a job. You have to be prepared for all of that.”"

"Overwrite — put down everything that comes to your mind," I was told. "Be explicit, elaborate. Judicious pruning will be done later. Dont be afraid to name names. Lawyers will tooth-comb the book before it gets into print and protect you from libel suits. Dont be afraid to shock people. Be daring. Be spicy. Tell all!" I did. I followed everybodys advice. About seven hundred thirty pages were judiciously pruned in order to protect the innocent, to make it possible for the book to be sent through the U.S. mails, and to prevent me from spending the twilight years of my life in jail for criminal libel. Whats left is here. PLEASE LIKE IT."