[N]othing is worthwhile on this unhappy earth except the fulfilment…

It is sometimes necessary to lie damnably in the interests of the nation.

It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing them.

Is there no Latin word for Tea? Upon my soul, if I had known that I would have left the vulgar stuff alone.

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim gun, and they have not.

Gentlemen, I am a Catholic. As far as possible, I go to Mass every day. This [taking a rosary out of his pocket] is a rosary. As far as possible, I kneel down and tell these beads every day. If you reject me on account of my religion, I …

I'm tired of Love; I'm still more tired of Rhyme. But money gives me pleasure all the time.