[Citing a familiar "American joke":] In Boston they ask, How much…

He was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.

I have seen Chinamen abused and maltreated in all the mean, cowardly ways possible to the invention of a degraded nature, but I never saw a policeman interfere in the matter and I never saw a Chinaman righted in a court of justice for …

I'll risk forty dollars that he can outjump any frog in Calaveras county.

I don't see no p'ints about that frog that's any better'n any other frog.

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.