[M]others of large families (who claim to common sense)

Is there no Latin word for Tea? Upon my soul, if I had known that I would have left the vulgar stuff alone.

It is sometimes necessary to lie damnably in the interests of the nation.

Gentlemen, I am a Catholic. As far as possible, I go to Mass every day. This [taking a rosary out of his pocket] is a rosary. As far as possible, I kneel down and tell these beads every day. If you reject me on account of my religion, I …

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim gun, and they have not.

It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing them.

I'm tired of Love; I'm still more tired of Rhyme. But money gives me pleasure all the time.