200 Cigarettes

"Ive dated enough narcissistically neurotic men to know that you are all just a pack of roving babies in search of a giant teat from which to suck the lifeblood out of me until I am a hollow shell."

"You let somebody move in with you, you make all these little compromises to smooth things along, and the next thing you know, youre on some macrobiotic diet and youre listening to Joni Mitchell."

"And Im not gay, okay? I get that all the time. No, Im not gay."

"Did you know that cigarettes are a shield against meaningful interaction with people?"

"You bring me over here, and you tell me Im the worst lover you ever had. And now you tell me it cant be helped."

"One of the ugliest bitches Ive ever seen in my life rolled up, and Im not one to call women ugly, but I think this woman was, because she had a penis."

"Throwing a party its like... its like an invitation for abuse. Its like the last desperate act of someone who hasnt had a lasting relationship since Junior High."

"So, how do you like your eggs done in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?"

"Its 11:59 on New Years Eve. Do you know where your date is?"

"Caleb Carr - Cynical Bar Patron"

"Everybodys having fun out here. They drinking, they fighting, they pissing on the streets. Its New Years Eve. They loving the ladies."

"Those clothes and my clothes would look good on my floor."