Allison Pearson

"One thing that both sides avoid mentioning is the fact that [[Russell Brand|[Russell] Brand]] was a hugely successful womaniser and his success was enabled by the girls who threw themselves at him in huge numbers."

"For any Briton unburdened by snobbery, having a prime minister who was once a conjurer’s assistant would be pretty cool, actually. Besides, what better preparation for a Conservative leadership contest than having to maintain a fixed grin while a chap saws you in half?"

"What a great victory this is for Boris Johnson. Who else could have fought the peoples corner so magnificently? Tied down like Gulliver in Lilliput with a hundred Parliamentary amendments; every which way he moved the buggers blocked him."

"If she doesnt take real, decisive action almost immediately, [[Liz Truss|[Liz] Truss]]s honeymoon period could rival the reign of Lady Jane Grey for brevity."

"This is known as "victim shaming" now, but it is a true account of how young women felt about a famous, magnetic male who flattered them. And it would be more honest, perhaps, to admit that certain girls will always throw themselves at powerful, sexy, exploitative men."

"One thing you can be sure this embarrassingly useless inquiry will not be concluding is that our pandemic policy was devised and implemented by a group of spectrummy males, many of them physicists, mathematical modellers and behavioural psychologists who would struggle to pick out their own child in a school photograph."

"We are already in Opposition, dear reader. Sorry to say. We are in Opposition against our own government, and have been for some time. It is sad and exhausting and dreadfully demoralising that it should have come to this, but here we are."

"Members of the Garrick Club, I beg you: do not surrender to the unsmiling commissars of the Cultural Revolution. They seek the elimination of you and your kind. Keep serving your awful offal. Beware, salad! Keep the ladies out and the Archibalds in."

"At Cop28, there are many who are convinced that we face a climate catastrophe in the next few decades if net zero is not delivered. Well, I say we are certain to have an economic and societal catastrophe if we persist in trying to reach that goal by 2050. Humanity cannot bear it."

"You know, I think Nigel Farage is already the leader of the Conservatives. He certainly makes a better, more convincing Tory than Rishi Sunak."

"I met Jeremy once on holiday and liked him enormously. Whatever he is full of, its certainly not hate. (What Prince Harry and Meghan are full of is another matter.) Rather, he exudes a buoyant goodwill and a refusal to take things seriously that cheers everyone up. It has deservedly made him one of the most popular TV figures of our pious, finger-wagging age. You know, I would far rather have a world full of Jeremy Clarksons than Meghan Markles. Im sure that things feel pretty serious for him right now, with the woke witchfinders at the door, but lets hope good times and high spirits return soon. We need him more than ever. Most people know that, for God’s sake."

"But Labour will be worse" no longer works as a bogeyman to scare the Tory tribe back into the polling booth. One wag described the choice between [[Rishi Sunak|[Rishi] Sunak]] and Sir Keir Starmer as, "Which Kray twin do you prefer?" Although one cant help feeling a little wistfully that, unlike Rishi and Keir, Reggie and Ronnie would at least have got a few things sorted in their forthright East End fashion."