Billy Bennett

"And you cant part a boy from his father, You cant part a boy from his dad, You cant part a Scotchman from money No matter how many hes had. You cant part the skin of a sausage Or a dad from his fond son and heir, And you cant part the hair on a bald-headed man For therell be no parting there."

"Theres a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Conga Pooch; Theres a little hot cross bun thats turning green; Theres a double-jointed woman doing tricks in Chu-Chin-Chow, And youre a better man than I am, Gunga Din."

"Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twenty-second year, So he smiled at her as sweetly as a hog And asked what present she would like. And jestingly she said: "Your green tie for my little yellow dog."

"Billy Bennett – I speak of the artist – was forthright, bawdy, and wholesome…[His] grossness had that gusto about it which is like a high wind blowing over a noisome place."

"Remember what the Patriarch King Solomon Told his harem on the night theyd had a few: "Teetotalum overcoatum asqua scutum atomack Sonata with tomoto, laringitis, cul de sac." Translation: "If your rhubarbs fallen try and bend it back." Thats a motto for the likes of me and you."

"She knows Im a deserter from the Scottish Fusiliers, She knows I stole a blind-mans can...that got me seven years! She knows Ive been connected with a gang of West-End Pests, And the police have had me twice inside the cage; And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past, But my mother doesnt know Im on the stage."