Brainiac: Science Abuse

"47-Second Science - tackling lifes big questions in bite-sized chunks."

"Jon (at the start of every teaser): Heres one for you..."

"Is it a drain specialist? Is it a road sweeper? No,its Super Brainiac! The result of a mistake in a laboratory. His mission: to rid the world of toxic caravans!"

"Is it a day-glow ninja? Is it a flourescent madman? Yes,its Super Brainiac! The result of an experiment that trebled his IQ to 42! His mission: to rid the world of toxic caravans!"

"Super brainiac: saving the world with science!"

"This is a car. Its been specially chosen to be destroyed because its old, its white, but more importantly, because its French."

"I love science - not all that "what do you get if you mix this chemical with that chemical?" nonsense - [throws away the science magazine he was reading] I mean, proper science, like this - [picking up the tabloid newspaper on his lap] theres this bloke, German scientist, Franz Epping...hes come up with this theory that, staring at a womans breasts for 30 minutes is the equivalent of a 30-minute workout. [closes the paper as camera zooms in on Hammonds face] Now that is an experiment I really wanna do."

"Charlotte Hudson: People who wear sunglasses are often seen as cool and trendy-apart from Liam Gallagher of course."

"Well, it would be cruel to kill a car-so lets kill a caravan."

"Youll be forgiven for thinking its snowing. Its not. Thats actually pieces of caravan. Its been blown to smithereens."

"...that grabs science by the whats-its and shakes madly."

"So, can (insert name here) still do his/her glitzy day job whilst being electrocuted? Yes/No."