Crazy, Stupid, Love.

"You wanna talk about The Scarlet Letter, Ms. Tafferty? All right. Well, the A theyre both wearing - I think it stands for "asshole." Wanna know why? Because they fell in love and love is for stupid assholes. And this book is just about a bunch of assholes who fell in love, like assholes, then had to die, like assholes. Im sorry about all the "assholes."

"I have loved her even when I hated her... only married couplesll understand that one..."

"I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one... you never give up."

"The war between the sexes is over. We won the second women started doing pole dancing for exercise."

"Im going to help you find your manhood. Do you have any idea where you might have lost it?"

"Im so mad at you. Im really mad at you for what you did. But Im mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car - I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates."

"Im wildly unhappy, and Im trying to buy it, and its not working."

"Beth Littleford - Claire Riley"

"Is this some kind of a skit? Because Im lost."

"Richard Steven Horvitz - Hardware Store Assistant"

"[to Jacob] Will you take off your shirt... fuck! Seriously? Its like youre Photoshopped!"

"John Carroll Lynch - Bernie Riley"