Creepshow

"Heh-heh!! Greetings, kiddies, and welcome to the first issue of Creepshow, the magazine that dares to answer the question, "Who goes there?"

"Heh-heh! Hello again, kiddies... my last story was so grim it even frightened me! So I decided to head for the hills... you know, the other side of the mountain whereas the grass is always greener... heh-heh... which brings to mind another tale..."

"Heh-heh! Well, kiddies, it seems youve caught me moonlighting! Let me tell you, this job is enough to drive ya bugs! The lil suckers hide everywhere! Take it from me, kiddies, youve gotta stay alert, because..."

"Heh-heh! Looks like Richard got himself in over his head, eh, kiddies? No? Well, itll be over his head soon enough, heh-heh! And listen to him laugh! Its enough to drive you crazy! Of course, Ive been crazy for years, so it doesnt really bother me... Ready for some more putrid prose, kiddies? Hee-hee..."

"Heh-heh! Welcome, kiddies! I dont know about you, but Im feeling a bit edgy! Maybe Im still feeling the effects of our last story... or maybe its just because I havent been out in a long time! Thats it! Ive got that boxed-in feeling, heh-heh! Which reminds me of another tale in my lurid lexicon! A little fear fable called..."

"Youre all a bunch of dirty vultures just waiting to get your hands on my money!"

"Heh-heh! Well, I guess Wilma got what was coming to her, eh, kiddies? But, such manners! Not so much as a thank you... the only word to describe Wilma now is... are you ready, kiddies... incrate!! Heh-heh!"

"Bedelia! YOU BITCH!! What do you think I got you here for?! Youre just like all the others! Youre nothing but a bunch of vultures!"

"So thats where the bugs went! Looks like old Mr. Pratt was right after all, eh, kiddies? Those little suckers can hide anywhere, heh-heh! Well, thats our last yell-yarn for this time, and until we get together for another foul feast, Ill leave you with these famous words from the classic film "Casablechha"... as ole Boogey said to Ingrid Barrghman, "Heres looking at you, kiddies..." heh-heh-heh..."

"Wheres my cake? I want my cake!"

"Wheres my cake, Bedelia? I want my cake!! Its Fathers Day, Bedelia! I want my cake!"

"Now thats what I call a twist ending, eh, kiddies? Nate did all the twisting and Sylvia ended... poor old girl just lost her head and went all to pieces... but the worst part came when old Nate blew out Cass and Richards candles... heh-heh... poof!! But why hang around here while my next terror tale awaits?"