Dick Stuart

"Guess Ill send Bragan a wire to and tell him I see he is where he belongs and Im up here where I belong."

"Every home run gives me the deepest personal thrill, although Ive hit droves. Last year at Lincoln I hit 66, yet it gave me the deepest personal thrill every time I seen that ball flying nine miles out of the park."

"I had a good time there. Moby Dick was my nickname. I struck out four times one night, and in the papers they said Ahab got his whale."

"It was Hank Aaron who hung that Dr. Strangeglove tag on me. I told him, to his face, that he would never amount to anything."

"That was when I started telling s. Actually, Maz robbed me. If I had hit that home run, I would have made a lot more out of it than Maz did. He never made much effort to capitalize on it. Can you imagine what that homer would be worth in endorsements today?"

"I thought I could catch him. I demand a rematch."

"I guess you could say I never understood baseball trades. In 1963, I hit 42 home runs for the Red Sox and drove in 118 runs. Youd call that a pretty good year, wouldnt you? Next year, Im down to 33 homers and 114 RBIs. In other words, youre looking at 75 home runs in two seasons. Are the Red Sox happy? Not so youd notice. They trade me to the Phils. Boston was a crazy place. Now, with those good statistics, I tell the Phils Im entitled to a healthy raise. You know what they tell me? They say I still havent done anything for them. I did get a raise, though."

"I guess youre the manager of nothing."

"I never did get a hit off him in the American League. One day Lou Clinton hit one back and it hit Wyatt right in the face. Cut his lip all up, big gash. They held the game up 15 minutes. He got up on the mound, the blood all coming out of his mouth. He sees me standing in the batters box and decides he can pitch. Struck me out on three pitches."

"Although we fully realize that is well versed in baseball management, we also know that he must also eventually bow to the fans wishes. We, therefore, plead that Twins fans join us in petitioning to keep Dr. Strangeglove off first base. Vic Power fans everywhere should stand up and be counted before a disastrous decision is made and he is benched or, even worse, traded. Let the outfielders battle among themselves for the three positions available. "To Tell the Truth," we think the real first baseman should stand up—where he belongs."

"Overheard at a game: "That Dick Stuart can really swing that bat, cant he? But around first base he looks like Dr. Strangeglove."

"Peter Sellers is now in the $250,000-per-picture class—that was his deal with Stanley Kubrick for "Dr. Strangeglove" [sic]—and inasmuch as he makes pictures as fast as he can read scripts, he should be a millionaire by Saturday."