Earth Girls Are Easy

"Well I see split ends are universal. Lost in space with no conditioner, huh?"

"Theres a giant blow dryer in my pool."

"[to Ted] If meaningless sex is what you want, why cant you have it with me?!"

"You guys are so lucky you crashed in the valley. Its the baddest place on earth!"

"Get ready for Earth Girls Are Easy because this is going to be fun!"

"An out-of-this-world, down-to-earth comedy adventure."

"Really, I could keep my mouth shut. I mean, Im the kind of person that you could tell anything to and Id never tell. Ask my cousin, Debbie. You know, she got like her boobs done and I never told anyone. Oh! Except I just told you."

"A recent poll showed that 3 out of 4 aliens agree... Earth Girls Are Easy."

"As if things werent bad enough, now Ive been abducted by aliens."

"A relationship is a lot like a porcelain nail, Ted. You can break it, and you can glue it back together, but its not going to be as strong as it was unless the person is really committed to not bringing home nurses!"

"Woody: Hey! Jail isnt so bad. Its where I learned how to surf."

"These degenerates broke into my home and destroyed my property. I want them arrested right now. Theyre MTV scum!"