Fantasia 2000

"[last lines, after the End Credits have rolled] Camera back on me. Uh, camera back on me, please. Anyone? Hello? Hello? Could someone give me a ride home?"

"[Introduction to "Rhapsody in Blue"] [Ralph Gierson plays the piano] ♪♪[bluesy jazz]♪♪ Beautiful, Ralph. Hi. Next, were gonna take you to the streets of New York City for a piece thats inspired by a couple of my favorite artists. First theres the illustrator, Al Hirschfeld, whos been drawing celebrities and Broadway stars for most of the 20th century. And then theres composer songwriter, George Gershwin who took jazz off the streets, dressed her up, and took her to the concert hall. My friend, Ralph Grierson plays piano on this next number, and it all starts with a single slinky note on a clarinet, and a simple line on a piece of paper. Ladies and gentlemen, Rhapsody in Blue."

"[Introduction to "Carnival of the Animals (Le Carnaval des Animax), Finale"] These drawing boards have been the birthplace of some of the most beloved animal characters of all time. So its no surprise that the artists choose for out next segment The Carnival of the Animals by Camille Saint-Saëns. Here, the sensitive strains of impressionistic music combine with the subtle artistry of the animator, to finally answer that age-old question, "What is mans relationship to nature?" [Eric Goldberg handed him note] Oh, sorry. That age-old question, "What would happen if you gave a yo-yo to a flock of flamingos?" [turns to Eric] Who wrote this?"

"[Introduction to "The Sorcerers Apprentice"] Ladies and gentlemen, wed like to take a moment, if we may, to talk about a little something we like to refer to as "magic". Picture this. Youre at home, hosting a birthday party for your daughter, and youve just shelled out 50 bucks, so some pathetic loser can pull a mangy rabbit out of a flea market hat. At first, you might wonder to yourself, "How did he do that?" But then you would probably just dismiss it as some sort of a trick. And you know something? Youd be right! Its just a trick! Its an example of what we laughingly refer to as stage magic. Were here to tell you that all stage magic is a fraud, a hoax, a sham. Its all based on deception and, yep, lyin, all of it. Sleight of hand...Lies! Transformations...Fraud! Dismemberment...Rip-off! Fakes! All are illusions! What were here to talk about is real magic. Were gonna bring on a guy now whos the real deal, the genuine article. In fact, he taught us everything we know. And he is featured prominently in the next sequence, from the original Fantasia, The Sorcerers Apprentice. [laughs] You know, come to think of it, The Sorcerers Apprentice, is a little guy, who never speaks and just kind of messes everything up. [whispers, pointing at Teller, who cuts off his hair] Like him. [laughs] And now... [faces Teller, who throws the scissors offstage] Wh...And now, the... [sees Teller, holding a bunny; chuckles] Oh, hi, hi, little fella. I gotta...And now, The Sorcerers Apprentice. [chuckles]"

"Chicago Symphony Orchestra - Themselves"

"[Introduction to "Firebird Suite - 1919 Version"] Walt Disney described the art of animation as a voyage of discovery into the realms of color, sound and motion. The music from Igor Stravinskys ballet, The Firebird, inspires such a voyage. And so we conclude this version of Fantasia with a mythical story of life, death and renewal."

"Deems Taylor - Himself - Host (Segment "Symphony No. 5") (archive footage) (uncredited)"

"Steve Martin - Himself - Introductory Host"

"Quincy Jones - Himself - Host (Segment "Rhapsody in Blue")"

"Penn & Teller - Themselves - Hosts (Segment "The Sorcerers Apprentice")"

"Leopold Stokowski - Himself - Conductor of The Philadelphia Orchestra (Segment "The Sorcerers Apprentice") (archive footage) (uncredited)"

"Russi Taylor - Daisy Duck (Segment "Pomp and Circumstance - Marches 1, 2, 3, and 4"), (voice; scream only)"