Harpo Marx

"I was the same kind of father as I was a harpist - I played by ear."

"Susan, an only child who never had any roots, and I, a lone wolf who got married 20 years too late, were adopted by the kids as much as they were by us."

"Like the East Side tenement, our house was seldom without the sound of music or laughter or questions being asked or stories being told."

"Many years ago a very wise man named Bernard Baruch took me aside and put his arm around my shoulder. "Harpo my boy," he said, "Im going to give you three pieces of advice, three things you should always remember." My heart jumped and I glowed with expectation. I was going to hear the magic password to a rich, full life from the master himself. "Yes sir?" I said. And he told me the three things. I regret that Ive forgotten what they were."

"If Im trapped in a theatre, and a show starts disappointingly, I have a handy way of avoiding it: I fall asleep."