Hugh Laurie

"[On performing with an American accent] Its as if youre playing left-handed. Or like everyone else is playing with a tennis racket and you have a salmon."

"[Answering "What made you step up to making your own record?"] I felt like I may not get opportunities to do this ever again, so it’s about time—it’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There’s almost no such thing as ready. There’s only now. And you may as well do it now. I mean, I say that confidently as if I’m about to go bungee jumping or something—I’m not. I’m not a crazed risk taker. But I do think that, generally speaking, now is as good a time as any."

"I would cling to unhappiness because it was a known, familiar state. When I was happier, it was because I knew I was on my way back to misery. Ive never been convinced that happiness is the object of the game. Im wary of happiness."

"[on having children] They do make you less egotistical. I still manage to think about myself 98 per cent of the time, but at least there is a little window where others can impinge."

"I was definitely getting the hang of this skating thing. Id started to copy a fancy cross-over turn from a German girl in front of me, and it was working pretty well. I was just about keeping up with her too, which was pleasing. She must have been about six."

"I dont believe in God, but I have this idea that if there were a God, or destiny of some kind looking down on us, that if he saw you taking anything for granted he’d take it away. So hell be like: You think this is going pretty well? Then hell go and send down some big disaster."

"ONeal had uttered three words: Conspiracy to murder. The correct word for me to repeat in an incredulous tone of voice would have been murder; a very small, and psychiatrically disturbed, section of the population might have opted for the to; but the one word out of the three I most definitely should not have chosen to repeat was conspiracy."

"There’s an undeniable pleasure in stepping into an open-top sports car driven by a beautiful woman. It feels like you’re climbing into a metaphor."

"I dont take off my helmet a lot of the time - thats one of the really good things about riding a bike. I can go all over the place and no one knows who I am."

"[On his role in Maybe Baby] I was only allowed to wear a sock. But the only way to do the shot was to be naked. Its been my worst nightmare ever since the showers at school - I couldnt believe I was living it."

"Death and disaster are at our shoulders every second of our lives, trying to get at us. Missing, a lot of the time. A lot of miles on the motorway without a front wheel blow-out. A lot of viruses that slither through our bodies without snagging. A lot of pianos that fall a minute after weve passed. Or a month, it makes no difference. So unless were going to get down on our knees and give thanks every time disaster misses, it makes no sense to moan when it strikes."

"This was the tricky bit. The really tricky bit, trickiness cubed."