James Thurber

"To hell with the handkerchief," said Walter Mitty scornfully. He took one last drag on his cigarette and snapped it away. Then, with that faint, fleeting smile playing about his lips, he faced the firing squad; erect and motionless, proud and disdainful, Walter Mitty the Undefeated, inscrutable to the last."

"Now I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance — a sharp, vindictive glance."

"In order to be eligible to play it was necessary for him to keep up in his studies, a very difficult matter, for while he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter."

"The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his."

"Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to ones poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed — but never the husband)."

"Speed is scarcely the noblest virtue of graphic composition, but it has its curious rewards. There is a sense of getting somewhere fast, which satisfies a native American urge."

"We all know that the theater and every play that comes to Broadway have within themselves, like the human being, the seed of self-destruction and the certainty of death. The thing is to see how long the theater, the play, and the human being can last in spite of themselves."

"He knows all about art, but he doesnt know what he likes."

"Its a naïve domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think youll be amused by its presumption."

"Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

"A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands."

"The pounding of the cylinders increased: ta-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa-pocketa."