Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

"Chris Rock as Chaka Luther King"

"Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Holy shit, it understood us! Maybe its some kind of supermonkey. What if theres more supermonkeys up at that lab? [shouts] What if theyre creating an army of them? Holy shit. Maybe its a conspiracy like in The X-Files... Roswell style! This little monkey could be the fuckin damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we wont spank the monkey — the monkey will spank us. [Dante: Im not even supposed to be here today!] And after the fall of man, these monkey fucksll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh, and only those as super-smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry "You maniacs! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell!"

"Any movie based on Jay and Silent Bob are gonna lick balls because they both in fact lick balls. Motherfucker. Its time we wrote something back. Type this shit down. All you motherfuckers are gonna pay! You are the ones who are the ball-lickers! Were gonna fuck your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny bitches. Once we get to Hollywood and find those Miramax fucks who is making the movie, were gonna make them eat our shit, then shit out our shit, and then eat their shit thats made up of our shit that we made them eat. Then all you motherfucks are next. Love, Jay and Silent Bob."

"[to Banky] Oh, but I think it is. We had a deal with you on the comics, remember, for likeness rights? And as were not only the artistic basis, but also, obviously, the character basis for your intellectual property, Bluntman & Chronic. When said property was optioned by Miramax Films, you were legally obliged to secure our permission to transfer the concept to another medium. As you failed to do that, Banky... you are in breach of the original contract. Ergo, you find yourself in a very actionable position."

"What the fuck is The Internet?"

"Mark Hamill as Himself / Cock-Knocker / Scooby-Doo"