Johnny Carson

"It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea. It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles. It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself."

"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. This is kind of an emotional thing for me because Ive known about this show for a long time, and the newspapers and the magazines that Ive probably been interviewed 150 times in the last nine months since Ive known about this. As I say, youll work up to it; we come over here this afternoon, we meet the guests that are on the show, and you get kind of charged up. I dont mean to be maudlin about it, but I know that tonight a lot of people, a lot of my friends are watching all over the country, and I only have one feeling as I stand here knowing that so many people are watching: I want my nana!"

"Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can — and will."

"And so it has come to this: I, uh... am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. I want to thank the gentlemen whove shared this stage with me for thirty years, Mr. Ed McMahon... Mr. Doc Severinsen... and... you people watching, I can only tell you that it has been an honor and a privilege to come into your homes all these years and entertain you—and I hope when I find something that I want to do, and I think you would like, and come back, that youll be as gracious in inviting me into your home as you have been. I bid you a very heartfelt good night."