Kelly Osbourne

"Youre not driving my car anymore Mum, Im sorry."

"Yeah, thats what I was wondering!! Who the fuck is Will Rogers?"

"You havent done anything, its your fucking daughter. I just got a call --when Im in Tiffany-- from some woman telling me how I should prepare my vagina for my gynecologist appointment tomorrow. She booked me a fucking gynecologist appointment!"

"You dont go to someones father, "I dont like the redness in your hair". Its fucking rude. I would never go to her father, "Oh, I dont like the baldness, maybe you should get a fucking tupee."

"Shes pissing in the bottle....just like she shit in Dads bag of weed in Hawaii."

"Jack, stop telling people youre Ozzy Osbournes son to get into places, youre a fucking loser!"

"My teeth, my car, my vagina, my business."

"Mom, I have something to tell you. My thong, is so far up my crack right now."

"I dont really care what people think about my hair. Its my hair, so why should they care? Ooh, that rhymed."

"If you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?"

"Jack, you have like serious anger management issues."