Major Payne

"Know this: Killing is my business, ladies; and business is GOOD!"

"I have eight weeks to turn you gaggle of maggots into a well-disciplined cadet unit! From this day forward, your sorry-ass asses belong to ME! You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose, or even dig in your butt without my say-so!"

"Move it, turds! Youll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, you look in the dictionary between spit and syphilis! Thats where youll find my sympathy!"

"Youre still a shit sandwich... youre just not a soggy one. I will no longer refer to you as turds. From this day forward, you will be called maggots!"

"[To Emily about being married] Negative. I figure if the marines wanted me to have a wife, theyd of issued me one."

"[To the squad, while watching them all run wearing dresses] I tell you, ladies; youre the prettiest unit ever under my command! Gonna have to change my name to Pimp-Daddy Payne! A-hee hee hee!"

"[While confronting a blind kid with his dog] You know there aint no pets allowed on this here premises, Mr. Ace Ventura."

"Hey Corporal. [Paynes adopted son, Tiger steps out in front and faces him] Go tell Mom to get my field knife."

"[Introducing the squad to their new barracks] A squad that lives together, wins together! "Unity", turds; that is the key word in "unit", without the "Y"!"

"Welcome to the House of Payne."

"Andrew Harrison Leeds - Cadet Dotson"

"Hes looking for a few good men...or at least a few guys old enough to shave."