Mrs Henderson Presents

"(After seeing him naked) Why Mr Van Damm, you are Jewish!"

"My husband put me on top of the cupboard once. You have so much in common."

"And if we cause too many people to congregate in the street, who gives a fiddlers fuck?"

"Are you American? Strange people, lovely manners."

"My dear, you must never interrupt a perfectly good argument!"

"But Ive told all my friends, that Im helping to build a home for future bastards!"

"Tomorrow, we have auditions! Isnt that exciting? People come in to entertain us, and we say either stick around or buzz off!"

"As you know, these are difficult times. So many of our delightful variety performers have been forced onto the milkline."

"Showbusiness is full of Jewish people. One must make do!"

"You neednt worry. Our lighting will be so subtle, the disputed area [the female genitalia] will be barely visible. And anyway, well have a barber!"

"The show must go on, but the clothes must come off."

"You men certainly do get yourselves into such a state over the "midlands"!"