Pat Paulsen

"Ive conducted my campaign thus far in the true American political tradition: I lied about my intention to run [...] I have been consistently vague on all the issues [...] Therefore I promise you all, my fellow Americans, that I will continue to make promises that I will be unable to fulfill."

"As a keen political observer, Ive noticed that most people do not really vote for someone for the Presidency as much as they vote against the other candidate. And I think President Johnstons [sic] decision was unfair to these people."

"After all, the leaders of our country were not elected to be tittered at. Censors have to draw the line somewhere. For instance, we are allowed to say Ronald Reagan is a lousy actor, but were not allowed to say hes a lousy governor – which is ridiculous. We know hes a good actor. And you cant say anything bad about President Johnston [sic], because you shouldnt insult the President. But if you compliment him, who will believe it?"

"Here and now, I am hereby publicly challenging all of the other leading candidates to debate on the issues of the campaign. I challenge Ronald Reagan to meet me on his home grounds, the back lot of Warner Brothers. And I challenge Herbert Humphrey [sic] to debate on his home grounds. I do have some reservations about meeting George Wallace on his home grounds, but Im willing to meet him on a neutral site in Harlem."

"The radio and press have once again chewed off more than they can bite. They continue to confuse personality with politics. They seem to assume that Im lying when I state that I am not a candidate for the Presidency. True, all the present candidates once denied they had any intention of running. But the fact that I am also a liar, doesnt make me a candidate."

"I ask you, will I solve our civil rights problems? Will I unite this country and bring it forward? Will I obliterate the national debt? [long pause] Sure, why not? Thank you."

"Ive repeatedly warned we must avoid the extremists: those who say we should pull out our troops in Vietnam immediately, those who say we should escalate and go right into North Vietnam... I tell you, we should continue doing what we have been: just messing around."

"… lets all remember that we have a government "of the people, for the people, and by the people", and there are very few people in our government that you cant buy."

"Many political experts have told me that nobody will vote for me because America is not ready for such decisive and dynamic leadership. They tell me these things, and I say nay to the negative nincompoops who never nourished the nihilistic nerve to name a novice to nail down the nomination."

"Left-wing or right-wing. No, Im not either. Im kind of middle-of-the-bird."

"I do not claim that I can solve all the worlds problems by myself. If I did, Id have to run as a Republican or a Democrat."

"A good many people today feel our present draft laws are unjust. These people are called soldiers. In one of the arguments against the draft, we hear it is unfair, immoral, discourages young men from studying, ruins their careers and their lives. Picky, picky, picky! We propose a draft lottery, in which the names of all eligible males will be put into a hat, and the men will be drafted according to their hat sizes. The tiny heads will go into the military service, and the fat heads will go into government."