Richard Summerbell

"Right wing (definition): As with the left wing, half the propulsive force of a flightless bird."

"Erotica: the depiction of naked men. Depictions of naked women are far less innocent and are known as "pornography"."

"The faith that education would destroy intolerance is false. It may be partly true, but people find that intolerance is fun."

"You are a mystery in an enigma in a big ball of fur, An irresistible magnet to every child and flea and burr. Your nose is high-resolution while I live in a near-scentless fog You run at high speed, while I just have to slog (but its a good ol slog) So I just want to thank you for being my dog...."

"Butch (definition): Macho with a purse."

"Closet (definition): Basement suite of a heterosexual outhouse."

"Deviant (definition): A person who wanders from the One True Path and is caught urinating somewhere in the midst of the unthinkable. A person taking any exit ramp off the freeway of self-righteousness."

"Unnatural act (definition): Any everyday act not equally typical of cattle, sheep, and horses. Singing, smoking, and various heterosexual and homosexual acts are included."

"Relationship (definition): Liaison usually involving two people and their dirty dishes."