Stanley Holloway

"The sound of igh words very soon reached the ears of an officer, Lieutenant Bird, Who said to the Sergeant, Now whats all this here? And the Sergeant told what had occurred."

"Pick it oop said the Sergeant, abrupt-like, but cool, But Sam with the shake of his head, Being that thou knocked it out of me and, Let thou pick the thing up, instead"

"Alright Duke, said Old Sam, just for thee Ill oblige, And to show thee I meant no offence, So Sam picked it up, Gradely, lad said the Duke, Right-o boys... let battle commence."

"Now my sisters daughter, Elizabeth May Is going to get married next Sunday, they say Now what will I buy her? Shes such a nice girl. I think a piano will do very well. I saw one today, twas a beauty I found. Only ninety-five guineas. Ill have it sent round."

"And yet I dont know. And yet I dont know! The sewing machine that cost me twenty guineas or so. And that would buy plenty of linen and thread And things that are hand-made are best, so its said. Its not that Im mingy - although Im half Scotch. I know what Ill buy her. A Ingersoll watch."

"As Sergeant walks past he was swinging his arms, And he happened to brush against Sam, And knocking his musket clean out of his hand, It fell to the ground with a slam"