Ten Commandments

"If we turn to the Pratimokska Sutra and other religious tracts of the Buddhists, we read the ten following commandments:"

"DECALOGUE, n. A series of commandments, ten in number -- just enough to permit an intelligent selection for observance, but not enough to embarrass the choice. Following is the revised edition of the Decalogue, calculated for this meridian. Thou shalt no God but me adore: Twere too expensive to have more. Take not Gods name in vain; select A time when it will have effect. Work not on Sabbath days at all, But go to see the teams play ball. Honor thy parents. That creates For life insurance lower rates. Kill not, abet not those who kill; Thou shalt not pay thy butchers bill. Kiss not thy neighbors wife, unless Thine own thy neighbor doth caress Bear not false witness -- that is low -- But "hear tis rumored so and so." Covet thou naught what thou hast not By hook or crook, or somehow, got."

"Thou shalt not get found out" is not one of Gods commandments, and no man can be saved by trying to keep it."

"Good master, what shall I do that I may have eternal life?" asks a man of Jesus. "Keep the commandments." "Which?" "Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,"(Matthew xix. 16-18) is the answer. "What shall I do to obtain possession of Bhodi? (knowledge of eternal truth)" asks a disciple of his Buddhist master. "What way is there to become an Upasaka?" "Keep the commandments." "What are they?" "Thou shalt abstain all thy life from murder, theft, adultery, and lying," answers the master. ("Pittakatayan," book iii., Pali Version) Identical injunctions are they not? Divine injunctions, the living up to which would purify and exalt humanity... In seeking a model for his system of ethics why should Jesus have gone to the foot of the Himalayas rather than to the foot of Sinai, but that the doctrines of Manu and Gautarna harmonized exactly with his own philosophy, while those of Jehovah were to him abhorrent and terrifying? The Hindus taught to return good for evil, but the Jehovistic command was: "An eye for an eye" and "a tooth for a tooth."

"Thou shalt have one God only; who Would be at the expense of two? No graven images may be, except the currency: not at all; for for thy curse Thine enemy is none the worse: church on Sunday to attend serve to keep the world thy friend: thy parents; that is, all whom advancement may befall: Thou shalt not kill; but needst not strive Officiously to keep alive: Do not adultery commit; Advantage rarely comes of it: Thou shalt not steal; an empty feat, When its so lucrative to cheat: Bear not false witness: let the lie Have time on its own wings to fly: Thou shalt not covet; but tradition Approves all forms of competition. The sum of all is, thou shalt love, If any body, God above: At any rate shall never labour More than thyself to love thy neighbour."

"Heres my problem with the Ten Commandments: why are there ten? ... Why not nine, or eleven? Ill tell you why: because ten sounds official. Ten sounds important! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, its a decade, its a psychologically satisfying number: the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dressed. So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision. ... I give you my revised list of the Two Commandments: "Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie", and "thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone, unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than the one you pray to". Two is all you need. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his pocket, and I wouldnt mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wall, as long as they provided one additional commandment: "Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."